How do Your Friends Perceive You?

I pursue network marketing, and even though this is the business many love to hate, I must say that I have learnt a lot from the experience I have had in this field of business. The other day, I was getting in touch with what we in this field call 'referrals'. These are people who the person you have introduced the business to would like to have know about the same. One particular lady responded and said that she was not interested. When you get an answer like that, most people feel dejected, but the way to handle it is to thank this person for their time and ask if they would give you a referral. This is what I did, and the response I got is what made me write this post.

This lady sent a text stating how I already had the contacts of X ( who had referred her to me) because he was more intearested (sic) and besides, she was 'a working class' (sic) she had no time for such. Up to this day I am yet to respond to that text. Partly because I felt insulted, but mostly because I did not want to get into an argument. I probably would have said something I would have come to regret. I'll admit I get a bit defensive at times. 

I had met X a while back, and he was the kindest of persons. He liked the business opportunity but his financial situation would not allow him to get started immediately. He was an honest Kenyan getting his daily bread. Perhaps to this lady, he was just another hustler and she could not for one moment imagine herself being put in the same class as this young man. 

Now, I do not have a problem with her acknowledging that financially, she was better placed. However, the way she said it was so hurtful that even I felt sorry for the poor fellow. Pun not intended.

The way people perceive you is very important. I remember one time we were having a conversation with some classmates about how people love talking about others (read gossipping). I mentioned how I did not care what people said about me, because that did not affect how I lived my life. A story then came up about how 'people were talking about the kind of shoes I was wearing'. Funny, I had not heard this story, but apparently it was going around that my shoes needed a break. I can laugh about it now because I have known the struggle of looking for a decent pair of shoes especially for these feet of mine. Anyway, so my personality or smarts for that matter (I shall not apologise for my vanity) were not what people were talking about, but how my shoes had seen better days. If you are planning on feeling sorry for me, please don't I just shared this story so that you get a feel of where I am coming from.

Making genuine friends these days is such a daunting task that you would be forgiven if you wanted to just be a loner and live this life without friends. People have become so plastic that they will hate you not because of the opposing political views you have, but because the clothes you are wearing do not look 'designer enough'. Excuse me? Are we twelve? Why are we hating each other based on material things and not what makes us us?

I feel, however, that a person’s perception of us should not influence how we behave and interact with others. You cannot control how someone feels about you, but you can control how they you feel about them. Do not let your high spirits be dampened by someone who may be fighting their own insecurities. All my life I never fitted in. No matter how much I tried, I stuck out like a sore thumb. It is in this repeated occurrence that I stopped trying. I just lived and continue living my life the best way I know. There will always be someone more intelligent, more beautiful, wealthier, fill in the blank. It is upon me to ensure that I lead my best life now. That is what I will be remembered for most. Not that I always kept my nails and ‘brows on fleek, because we all know I have my days. Lol.