A Special Place in Hell
The July cold had reared her ugly head and she was showing just how nasty she could be, hence forcing Wangari to make herself a cup of tea. This was a rare occurrence because she never drank tea, not at night anyway. So she snuggled under the Maasai blanket and slowly sipped her vanilla tea as she scrolled through her Facebook posts on her phone. This was something she always did because, well, she had crazy friends, and the news on the television were constantly negative.
Then she saw it. A friend request. She stared in disbelief because most times when she got a friend request, if she knew the person she would automatically accept or she would click on the person's profile if she didn't know them and see what kind of a person they were before accepting or declining the request.
When she snapped out of her small reverie, she did not even think twice. She accepted immediately! You may wonder what her excitement was. I'll tell you. The friend request was from a young man Wangari had heard on the radio and whose voice she was secretly in love with. She laughed to herself as she remembered how she would impatiently wait for late night when his show came on and listened with intent as he and his co-hosts had fun in studio.
Wangari had never thought that she would ever meet him let alone be friends on Facebook. She was content with just knowing that she was in love with the person behind the mic. Besides, he would never like a girl like her anyway. That was Wangari, always puttting herself down even when things were looking up.
In a matter of seconds, a message popped up. Of course, it was Mr. Dreamy. She called him that because he was way out of her league. Or so she thought. She opened the message. "Hi" it read. She had butterflies in her stomach. So as not to look so desperate, she replied with a "Hey". Mr. Dreamy was very quick to reply, and he was very charming because he complimented on her beauty and Wangari gushed, because it had been a while since she had been called pretty. Mr. Dreamy was smooth. He asked for her number and because he was her long time crush, she gave it to him.
Mr. Dreamy did not waste time. He sent her a text message via whatsapp. He did not mince his words. Wangari liked that about him. He went straight to the point. He seemed like the type of man who would take control of the relationship. That was something she had craved for a long time and it seemed without a doubt that this was the man Wangari had been praying about. She asked about his profession. Wasn't he the one she heard on the radio? He was famous. He played the cool guy. Saying how he never really liked the limelight and he did not consider himself a celebrity. What this man did not know is that Wangari was a certified groupie. Not the ratchet kind, but the kind who saw autographs as those which will amount to $$ in the future. She told him as much. That she would ask for his autograph if she ever met him.
Mr. Dreamy was a flirt as well. However, Wangari did not mind. She had almost forgotten how it felt to be pursued. He was confident. Perhaps, it was partly because of the community he was from. From the pictures he sent, she could tell he fit the cliché: tall, dark and handsome. Just the combination that made her weak in the knees. She couldn't tell him that, she didn't want him to win her over so quickly. She wanted to test how genuine his interest was. Without her even asking, Mr. Dreamy told her he was in search of a serious relationship. He even said something that Wangari had been praying and fasting for since her last relationship ended. He was not after sexual intimacy; he was looking to be loved. Wangari at this point wished she could reach out to him and hug him. But because she couldn't, so she looked up and whispered a "thank you God!"
Conversation continued to flow until Mr. Dreamy invited himself over to her house for lunch. Wangari had already begun picturing herself with him; something she always did when she thought she had met a good guy. She did not want to ruin it by having the first 'date' at her house. She did not tell him that much, but to Mr. Dreamy it sounded as though he was being pushed away. What he didn't know is sometimes Wangari pushed men away so that she could measure their interest. She was forgetting that this particular man was a celebrity, and if he wanted he could get any lady he wanted, but he wanted her. It may sound as if Wangari was berating herself, but it was true. In what normal universe did celebrities reach out to their fans? Regardless of this reality, Wangari still kept the faith and that night as she prayed, she asked God to bless the relationship she was beginning with Mr. Dreamy. They were not dating; not yet anyway, but she prayed because that is just how Wangari was.
The following day Wangari was in a daze. She kept smiling to herself because she couldn't believe her luck. At the same time she was weary because Mr. Dreamy had not said anything the whole day. She figured it was how the conversation had ended and she cursed repeatedly under her breath because she was always jeopardizing her and her chances with good men. But being the conservative person she was, she dared not text him because again, she did not want to appear desperate. Luckily for her, Mr. Dreamy was a fighter for love, so he did text her. they got over the awkwardness and were back to normal. This time the conversation became really personal. Wangari had in the past dated men who did not open up, and this man told her things about his life that would not be told not even to a close relative. She felt happy knowing that this man trusted her enough to tell her intimate details about his life.
Every day that week was refreshing for Wangari, because she got to talk to someone who intimated that he wanted to spend his life with her. It was a feeling that was so amazing, she did not want to tell anyone lest it be a dream and not come true. She had become on with a man she had not met; a man whose voice she had fallen in love with so many years ago.
When the text came in one night, she knew all was not well, and Wangari asked Mr. Dreamy how she could help him out. His sister had just come home and was complaining of stomach aches. She had thrown up a couple of times and he was worried because she looked so sick. This was odd to Wangari. She possibly could not be the first contact Mr. Dreamy would call. She stated this to him in not so many words, but he understood her very well and was quick to bid her good night. What kind of person would lie about their family? She felt like the devil herself and asked how she could help. He asked her to get however much she could and send to him. For all those who know the mobile loan system in Kenya, you know that you cannot take credit from a bank or mobile money service unless you have an account and have transacted before. Wangari feeling very obligated and rather scared (she felt guilty for doubting Mr. Dreamy, and didn't want his sister to die) tried all means which finally turned out to be futile. She resorted to the last option. The one she never did unless it was a life or death situation. This one counted as one. She went to her aunt for help. Wangari was an orphan. Her parents had died when she was five years old, and her aunt had been kind enough to take her in and provide for her all through. It was a risk, but she was willing to pay the price.
It was late at night and her aunt was asleep so she mumbled something about needing money and sent some to Mr. Dreamy who acknowledged receipt and said he would keep informed once he got his sister to hospital. Wangari went to bed and had the longest night because Mr. Dreamy had not told her how his sister was doing. The day dawned and still she heard nothing so she told herself that he had had a long night and he would call later. Midday arrived and she still had not heard anything. She begun to panic. Thinking Mr. Dreamy's sister had died and he was too overcome with emotion to tell her.
When all these thoughts were flooding her mind, her aunt called. She demanded to know who it was she had sent money to and why she was the only one who could help. Wangari mumbled something, but her aunt was not listening. She was livid! She went on and on about how gullible she was and that she had fallen prey to the oldest trick in the book. That is when it dawned on Wangari that perhaps her aunt was right. She was so desperate to find love she was ready to do anything to get it.
That day was the longest Wangari has ever had. It did not help matters that when she asked Mr. Dreamy how his sister was doing he did not reply. She was frantic. She blamed herself. How could she have been so stupid? Just before she broke into a bout of tears, Mr. Dreamy called and told her his sister was better but she still needed medication which cost money that he did not have. She found the strength to tell him that all would be well and that he would get the money. Little did Wangari know that her aunt, being the no- nonsense lady that she is had tried to call his number and when he failed to answer she threatened the cops on him for being a con.
S**t had literally hit the fan and Wangari was almost having a panic attack. Tears streamed her face as the screenshots of the texts her aunt had sent to Mr. Dreamy were sent to her by him. He made it worse when he said that that text was so bad he broke down and shed tears. He was so hurt that he was going to sell whatever he had left to pay back the money she had sent him.
On the one hand she had her aunt telling her she had been conned; and on the other she had Mr. Dreamy telling her that her aunt was threatening to take him to the police unless he returned the money. Wangari felt like she would jump off the roof and end her life. Why was her life so complicated? Was this a dream? Because it felt like a nightmare. Mr. Dreamy was so angry with her, instead of hurling insults at her he was killing her with kindness. Wangari wished she had just ignored Mr. Dreamy's text. He probably would have found help elsewhere; she was not his only resort. Again she wished she had ignored the request, perhaps this day would not have happened and she would continue living ignorant of the life Mr. Dreamy was living. She also wished that she was actually conned of the money and it was someone who was pretending to be Mr. Dreamy because then she would not have to deal with the pain she felt in her heart. It was like a never ending bad dream, except this time Wangari was awake through all of it.
When Mr. Dreamy had calmed down a bit, he continued to kill Wangari with kind words. But not before his hurt showed and he claimed that she had been planning it all along and categorised her with all other types of women. Wangari could not read his messages without tears forming. She let them drop hoping that they will ease her pain, but she felt even worse. She had just called someone's son a con-okay it was her aunt, but still. She tried to defend herself, even putting blame on her aunt but there was no going back. It was like an innocent person being accused of rape. The charge went away but the stigma was always there; haunting you like a shadow. That night Wangari wept. She cried for the moments she knew she would never have; for the laughter she would never share; for the hand of Mr. Dreamy that she would never hold. She had lost him and in losing him she had lost herself. She had known him less than a week, but in the few days she had gotten to know him she had found a soulmate; her Mr. Left to drag on to the right.
He was kind enough to forgive her; but she could not forgive herself. He offered to be friends, but how would you be just friends with someone you had fallen in love with? It would be an impossible task. Wangari agreed. She thought that she would win him over with time. But there was no hope. They were not talking. She was just another number in his phone book. She would go through her message thread and cry because she would no longer be in a position to talk to him; not the way she had anyway.
So she gathered courage to tell him. That she was not going to be friends with him, Friends talked to each other. He probably had erased her from his mind. She would just have to live with the devastation she felt. And even though Mr. Dreamy thought otherwise, Wangari was in her own personal hell and everyday she thought of the special place in hell she has waiting for her.
Then she saw it. A friend request. She stared in disbelief because most times when she got a friend request, if she knew the person she would automatically accept or she would click on the person's profile if she didn't know them and see what kind of a person they were before accepting or declining the request.
When she snapped out of her small reverie, she did not even think twice. She accepted immediately! You may wonder what her excitement was. I'll tell you. The friend request was from a young man Wangari had heard on the radio and whose voice she was secretly in love with. She laughed to herself as she remembered how she would impatiently wait for late night when his show came on and listened with intent as he and his co-hosts had fun in studio.
Wangari had never thought that she would ever meet him let alone be friends on Facebook. She was content with just knowing that she was in love with the person behind the mic. Besides, he would never like a girl like her anyway. That was Wangari, always puttting herself down even when things were looking up.
In a matter of seconds, a message popped up. Of course, it was Mr. Dreamy. She called him that because he was way out of her league. Or so she thought. She opened the message. "Hi" it read. She had butterflies in her stomach. So as not to look so desperate, she replied with a "Hey". Mr. Dreamy was very quick to reply, and he was very charming because he complimented on her beauty and Wangari gushed, because it had been a while since she had been called pretty. Mr. Dreamy was smooth. He asked for her number and because he was her long time crush, she gave it to him.
Mr. Dreamy did not waste time. He sent her a text message via whatsapp. He did not mince his words. Wangari liked that about him. He went straight to the point. He seemed like the type of man who would take control of the relationship. That was something she had craved for a long time and it seemed without a doubt that this was the man Wangari had been praying about. She asked about his profession. Wasn't he the one she heard on the radio? He was famous. He played the cool guy. Saying how he never really liked the limelight and he did not consider himself a celebrity. What this man did not know is that Wangari was a certified groupie. Not the ratchet kind, but the kind who saw autographs as those which will amount to $$ in the future. She told him as much. That she would ask for his autograph if she ever met him.
Mr. Dreamy was a flirt as well. However, Wangari did not mind. She had almost forgotten how it felt to be pursued. He was confident. Perhaps, it was partly because of the community he was from. From the pictures he sent, she could tell he fit the cliché: tall, dark and handsome. Just the combination that made her weak in the knees. She couldn't tell him that, she didn't want him to win her over so quickly. She wanted to test how genuine his interest was. Without her even asking, Mr. Dreamy told her he was in search of a serious relationship. He even said something that Wangari had been praying and fasting for since her last relationship ended. He was not after sexual intimacy; he was looking to be loved. Wangari at this point wished she could reach out to him and hug him. But because she couldn't, so she looked up and whispered a "thank you God!"
Conversation continued to flow until Mr. Dreamy invited himself over to her house for lunch. Wangari had already begun picturing herself with him; something she always did when she thought she had met a good guy. She did not want to ruin it by having the first 'date' at her house. She did not tell him that much, but to Mr. Dreamy it sounded as though he was being pushed away. What he didn't know is sometimes Wangari pushed men away so that she could measure their interest. She was forgetting that this particular man was a celebrity, and if he wanted he could get any lady he wanted, but he wanted her. It may sound as if Wangari was berating herself, but it was true. In what normal universe did celebrities reach out to their fans? Regardless of this reality, Wangari still kept the faith and that night as she prayed, she asked God to bless the relationship she was beginning with Mr. Dreamy. They were not dating; not yet anyway, but she prayed because that is just how Wangari was.
The following day Wangari was in a daze. She kept smiling to herself because she couldn't believe her luck. At the same time she was weary because Mr. Dreamy had not said anything the whole day. She figured it was how the conversation had ended and she cursed repeatedly under her breath because she was always jeopardizing her and her chances with good men. But being the conservative person she was, she dared not text him because again, she did not want to appear desperate. Luckily for her, Mr. Dreamy was a fighter for love, so he did text her. they got over the awkwardness and were back to normal. This time the conversation became really personal. Wangari had in the past dated men who did not open up, and this man told her things about his life that would not be told not even to a close relative. She felt happy knowing that this man trusted her enough to tell her intimate details about his life.
Every day that week was refreshing for Wangari, because she got to talk to someone who intimated that he wanted to spend his life with her. It was a feeling that was so amazing, she did not want to tell anyone lest it be a dream and not come true. She had become on with a man she had not met; a man whose voice she had fallen in love with so many years ago.
When the text came in one night, she knew all was not well, and Wangari asked Mr. Dreamy how she could help him out. His sister had just come home and was complaining of stomach aches. She had thrown up a couple of times and he was worried because she looked so sick. This was odd to Wangari. She possibly could not be the first contact Mr. Dreamy would call. She stated this to him in not so many words, but he understood her very well and was quick to bid her good night. What kind of person would lie about their family? She felt like the devil herself and asked how she could help. He asked her to get however much she could and send to him. For all those who know the mobile loan system in Kenya, you know that you cannot take credit from a bank or mobile money service unless you have an account and have transacted before. Wangari feeling very obligated and rather scared (she felt guilty for doubting Mr. Dreamy, and didn't want his sister to die) tried all means which finally turned out to be futile. She resorted to the last option. The one she never did unless it was a life or death situation. This one counted as one. She went to her aunt for help. Wangari was an orphan. Her parents had died when she was five years old, and her aunt had been kind enough to take her in and provide for her all through. It was a risk, but she was willing to pay the price.
It was late at night and her aunt was asleep so she mumbled something about needing money and sent some to Mr. Dreamy who acknowledged receipt and said he would keep informed once he got his sister to hospital. Wangari went to bed and had the longest night because Mr. Dreamy had not told her how his sister was doing. The day dawned and still she heard nothing so she told herself that he had had a long night and he would call later. Midday arrived and she still had not heard anything. She begun to panic. Thinking Mr. Dreamy's sister had died and he was too overcome with emotion to tell her.
When all these thoughts were flooding her mind, her aunt called. She demanded to know who it was she had sent money to and why she was the only one who could help. Wangari mumbled something, but her aunt was not listening. She was livid! She went on and on about how gullible she was and that she had fallen prey to the oldest trick in the book. That is when it dawned on Wangari that perhaps her aunt was right. She was so desperate to find love she was ready to do anything to get it.
That day was the longest Wangari has ever had. It did not help matters that when she asked Mr. Dreamy how his sister was doing he did not reply. She was frantic. She blamed herself. How could she have been so stupid? Just before she broke into a bout of tears, Mr. Dreamy called and told her his sister was better but she still needed medication which cost money that he did not have. She found the strength to tell him that all would be well and that he would get the money. Little did Wangari know that her aunt, being the no- nonsense lady that she is had tried to call his number and when he failed to answer she threatened the cops on him for being a con.
S**t had literally hit the fan and Wangari was almost having a panic attack. Tears streamed her face as the screenshots of the texts her aunt had sent to Mr. Dreamy were sent to her by him. He made it worse when he said that that text was so bad he broke down and shed tears. He was so hurt that he was going to sell whatever he had left to pay back the money she had sent him.
On the one hand she had her aunt telling her she had been conned; and on the other she had Mr. Dreamy telling her that her aunt was threatening to take him to the police unless he returned the money. Wangari felt like she would jump off the roof and end her life. Why was her life so complicated? Was this a dream? Because it felt like a nightmare. Mr. Dreamy was so angry with her, instead of hurling insults at her he was killing her with kindness. Wangari wished she had just ignored Mr. Dreamy's text. He probably would have found help elsewhere; she was not his only resort. Again she wished she had ignored the request, perhaps this day would not have happened and she would continue living ignorant of the life Mr. Dreamy was living. She also wished that she was actually conned of the money and it was someone who was pretending to be Mr. Dreamy because then she would not have to deal with the pain she felt in her heart. It was like a never ending bad dream, except this time Wangari was awake through all of it.
When Mr. Dreamy had calmed down a bit, he continued to kill Wangari with kind words. But not before his hurt showed and he claimed that she had been planning it all along and categorised her with all other types of women. Wangari could not read his messages without tears forming. She let them drop hoping that they will ease her pain, but she felt even worse. She had just called someone's son a con-okay it was her aunt, but still. She tried to defend herself, even putting blame on her aunt but there was no going back. It was like an innocent person being accused of rape. The charge went away but the stigma was always there; haunting you like a shadow. That night Wangari wept. She cried for the moments she knew she would never have; for the laughter she would never share; for the hand of Mr. Dreamy that she would never hold. She had lost him and in losing him she had lost herself. She had known him less than a week, but in the few days she had gotten to know him she had found a soulmate; her Mr. Left to drag on to the right.
He was kind enough to forgive her; but she could not forgive herself. He offered to be friends, but how would you be just friends with someone you had fallen in love with? It would be an impossible task. Wangari agreed. She thought that she would win him over with time. But there was no hope. They were not talking. She was just another number in his phone book. She would go through her message thread and cry because she would no longer be in a position to talk to him; not the way she had anyway.
So she gathered courage to tell him. That she was not going to be friends with him, Friends talked to each other. He probably had erased her from his mind. She would just have to live with the devastation she felt. And even though Mr. Dreamy thought otherwise, Wangari was in her own personal hell and everyday she thought of the special place in hell she has waiting for her.
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