The Naivete of A Campus Girl 2

Time proved herself true, and Claire was able to move on. Hard as it was, she went on with her studies and time healed her broken heart. She was able to move on from her heartbreak enough to go on a couple dates. However, none of these relationships were serious, and they did not bring any fulfilment. That was until her final year when she met Kevin.

Claire had attended a New Year's concert with a group of friends. Her friends got complimentary tickets because they were performing that night. They were dancers with a fancy name like "Ignitaz" or something. Claire was not paying much attention. She just wanted to be out on New Year's Eve.

Claire paid the entrance fee, and walked in. The venue of the concert was at the Carnivore grounds. It had taken hours to arrive at the destination, because of the heavy traffic, but she was finally here. Her friends had to hurry along to prepare so they waved goodbye and promised to meet her after their performance. Claire heaved a sigh as she went through a vigorous security check. She was already regretting coming to this place. She did not know anyone other than her friends, and now she had been left alone. She breathed another sigh and told herself that she would make the best of it. She had not come all this way just to be bored.

There was music blaring from the speakers. It being a gospel gig, it was not the usual secular music she was used to. She was just hoping the songs played would be easy enough for her to lip sync through or she would be screwed! The first thing she thought to get was a drink. She had had a late lunch, so she could not quite get herself to eat another meal so soon.

It was not hard to spot where the food and drinks were being sold. She ordered mango juice. She was trying to avoid fizzy drinks. After watching a video showing how Coke is used to clean toilets, she had decided to declare war on all soft drinks. The juice was a safe bet, even though she should have really been drinking water.

Claire walked to the stage and watched the performance on stage. The MCs chosen were perfect for the job. They engaged the crowd and were actually funny. Claire remembered with a smile a wedding she had attended where the MC was so boring, and because the sound was not good, the guests just kept to their groups and did not care how loud they were talking because they were utterly bored.  

Claire's friends stunned the crowd with their dance moves. She watched in awe and envy because she had two left feet. They left the crowd cheering and screaming. And Claire was among those cheering. She was so happy for them. Even if nothing else happened that night, she would be glad she saw them perform. 

The deejay was playing music Claire knew, so she was bobbing her head to it. At least that was something she could not mess up. She laughed to herself as she thought about that. The music was good, and even if her friends did not join her. She was at home here. 

As she sipped her juice, she felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned to see a man who fitted the 'tall, dark and handsome cliche'. "Perhaps, he wants directions to the loo.." thought Claire. She smiled at him, and he smiled back. He mouthed a "Hi" over the blaring music. She mouthed back a response. He leaned in to whisper in her ear, and asked her if they could move to a quiet place to talk. Claire did not know the music that was playing anyway, so she followed this stranger to the place food was being sold. The music was not loud from that end, so they did not have to shout themselves hoarse to hear each other.

He introduced himself as Kevin. He was a graduate, and just like her, his friends had 'abandoned' him at the entrance. He had seen her upon entering the venue and he had made a mental note to talk to her at some point in the night. Claire was already smitten by him, and she had to remind herself to be careful. These handsome men always had baggage. She had taken a risk following this man, but the way conversation flowed between them, it seemed like she had made a good decision. 

Kevin was a breath of fresh air. Different from those other guys who had perfected the art of small talk. Kevin was different. He talked about himself, asked about her while incorporating  current events. It was quite refreshing to speak to him, because compared to all the men she had met previously, Kevin was scoring very highly.

They walked towards the stage and watched performances by various gospel musicians. The music was uplifting, and even though they did not know all the songs, they had fun dancing along to them. Kevin had convinced Claire to dance arguing that no one was really watching. She was not too convinced but she went along with it. 

"Nine...eight...seven... six..." The countdown to the new year begun and at 'one' the fireworks were launched. Kevin held out his hand and Claire took it and they watched the fireworks. Her mind was reeling. Never before had she spent her New Year's Eve away from home, and here she was holding a man's hand. She held on to his hand, and he squeezed it gently. She smiled. If it were possible to freeze time, she would have chosen this moment to live in and cherish forever.

Both Claire and Kevin's friends came looking for them, but they did not stay too long in their company. This gave them time to talk about everything and anything. IT was not until they watched the sun rise that they both realised that they had not slept and that they had spent the whole night talking. There was a bus taking Claire and her friends home, so before she left, she and Kevin were able to exchange numbers.

After lunch at one of the hotels in the city, Kevin asked Claire to be his girlfriend. She accepted. She was glad he actually took the time to officially ask her to be his girlfriend. She remembered how she had assumed she was dating a guy one time only for her to find out later that he had a son, whose mother was still in his life. She had no problem about the man having a child, but lying to her about it? She could not stomach  that, so Kevin's approach was most commendable.

The relationship was perfect. Even to an outsider, the relationship was one anyone would pray to God to have. Kevin was understanding and caring. He made Claire a priority. That was a feeling Claire had forgotten about never experienced. Sometimes she thought that it was too good to be true. She thought she would mess it up and it would all be over. She kept the faith, because he was different. Different good.

They were dating for six months, when Kevin mentioned that hey should get intimate. He had never before made that request, and that was something she thanked God for daily, because he did not want to rush her. This request, however, did not come as much of a shock to her because she was curious as to how it would feel to 'know' a man. She was constantly fasting and praying because she did not want to fall into temptation. Everyday she prayed that God would give her the strength He gave Joseph to run away from Potiphar's wife. Her faith condemned fornication, but her hormones were curious. She told Kevin as much, and he did not show any anger. He talked to her about it, and did not make her feel guilty.

Kevin was blessed with the gift of a sweet tongue. He was persuasive, but yet he made it feel as if Claire had made the decision to be intimate with him all on her own. It did not take long before Claire gave in, and she found herself at his door. He promised to be gentle with her. He promised to love her. Claire was convinced enough that she lay with him.

Claire walked out of Kevin's house with mixed emotions. On one hand she was happy to have satisfied her curiosity;  while on the other she could not stop screaming "sinner!!"  She went back to her hostel, sat on her bed and just stared at the ceiling. It was dark now. She did not even have the appetite to eat any food. She went to sleep having resolved that she could not turn back the hands of time, so she would take each moment as it came.

The following day, there was neither a call nor a text from Kevin. She waited, telling herself that perhaps he was busy and he would contact her as soon as he could. She watched the sun set and he still had not tried to reach her. She called him, and he feigned an excuse of being busy. She wanted to see him soon, but Kevin was not available. He had to take a work trip.

Claire tried not to think negative thoughts. That he was genuinely busy, but she could not shake off those thoughts from her head. The week ended and the only communication she received from him was from the one she initiated. If she did not contact him first, he would never talk to her. Claire was heartbroken. The one person she had trusted enough to give her virginity to did not even want to talk to her.  He was her first. But he had broken her heart like no other man had. It was true what they said; women got emotional when it came to sexual matters. Men could detach emotions from the act. Kevin finally called her and told her that he had found someone else. So heartless was he that he could not face her to tell her those words; he had to speak them over the phone. As she broke down in tears with the heaviest pain in her heart.

Claire was neither pregnant neither had she contracted a venereal disease. She should have been grateful, but the heartache she was currently nursing was so much for her to bear.Claire cursed herself for giving in. She would need an eternity to get over her first love. At that moment she did feel as if relief would ever come. Her naivete had cost her something she could never get back. No amount of confession would allow her to forgive herself for the grave mistake she had committed. She was not worthy of happiness. She deserved misery. She would definitely not be the same again. She judged herself harshly, thinking everyone could see the sin she had committed. Little did she know that the grace of the Lord is sufficient. She was forgiven the moment she confessed her sin. She just needed to forgive herself. Who would convince her that her sins had been forgiven?