A new lease of life to the Apple Bottom

"Babe... you remember that girl we met at Jack's party some time back?" Cliff pretends he can't hear his girlfriend, and continues to flip through stuff on his tablet. Unperturbed by this reaction, Mercy continues to prod. "I think her name was Emma. Actually, that's it! Emma!"  Seeing she won't give up, Cliff glanced up from his tablet and said, " Okay, what about her?"

"Well, remember how after one too many beers you mentioned how she has an apple bottom and you two somehow got talking?" This conversation was headed downhill fast, and it seemed Mercy had a lot to tell Cliff about this acquaintance.

He put his tablet aside on the couch and now keenly looked at his girlfriend as she dramatised this new story she seemed to want to share with him. Mercy went on with her story ignoring how her boyfriend had suddenly become interested in what she had to say.

"I had my day off yesterday and I was set on just sleeping the day away…" Mercy's speech was cut short when Cliff interrupted her. It wasn't a pleasant thing that he said. "You should have gone to an arts school instead of a law school. This dramatisation if yours is not helping anyone."

Mercy felt tears rush to her eyes but she fought back on them and she won.

"When we started going out, you said that you liked how I told my stories with a twist. Now you don't like it anymore? Woow!"

This did not deter Mercy from continuing with her story, because after all, even if she started from Uganda meandering through Tanzania and Ethiopia, she would still end up in Egypt." A funny thing happened. It was 11 o'clock. I was still lounging in bed, when I heard the door bell ring. I had no option but to go open because it seemed this person was on a mission to knock my door down!"

Cliff was staring at Mercy the way the court house in 'Legally Blonde 1' stared  at Elle Woods when they wondered where her line of questioning was headed. Cliff was just seconds from knowing where this long winded story was going, and he would instantly be regretting his coldness towards Mercy." I opened the door and whom did I find? Emma, Emma came to the house!"

Cliff now began fidgeting in his seat and a cold sweat began to break on his forehead. This is because he remembered that Emma had confronted him late last week and told him that she was pregnant. Damn these young girls!! So fertile and healthy... just want to ruin people's lives. Cliff did not want to give away his uneasiness so quickly so he switched positions so that he ran his hands over his head and then put one leg over the other. This was to give him more confidence than he actually had.

"This girl seemed to know her way around the house. Before she could tell me why she was here, she asked to go to the bathroom and she was already headed there before I could even give her directions!" Mercy scoffed at this remark she had just made and asked her boyfriend, "Why did you have to bring her to this house? I mean....you are a rich businessman. Couldn't you have gone to a lodging?"

Cliff could not reply. This was a rhetorical question. Now that he thought about it, it was stupid of him to cheat on his girlfriend with that toddler. Now it was too late. Mercy knew the truth and he was going to pay for it.

" Emma told me that she was a virgin before she met you and she was to preserve herself till marriage. This is funny because that's the same idea I had till you rolled along into my life." The story did not end there. She told me that she discovered she was pregnant with your baby and when she told you about it, you ignored her and just like every other absentee father, you told her that her baby, if it was even there to begin with, must be someone else's. And you continued to call her a harlot, I suppose you assumed she was sleeping with every Dick she came across...."

Cliff knew that he was between a rock and a hard place and his next move would be the make or break it point of his relationship although he knew it was broken beyond repair. And he was the cause, not Mercy. He was greedy. He was not satisfied with just one.

"You know, Cliff..." this was the first time she was calling him by his name, so he knew this was trouble. " The night we had before was so amazing. I was thinking since that time was just right for me, I would skip my pills and get pregnant. But the moment that girl told me that she was pregnant I knew what I had to do."

Cliff got some courage and he stood up and reached out to hold Mercy in his arms. She ducked! She did not want to be held by a man who had betrayed her trust that badly.

He told her, "Sweetheart, please tell me you're carrying my baby... please..." The look on his face was enough to melt Mercy's heart. But at this time, she could not allow herself to forgive him. Instead she said, "What if I got an STD? Don't you care enough to at least use protection when you're out frolicking with these young girls?"

Now the tears flowed freely. Mercy was in pain. She loved Cliff and always thought that she had bagged herself one of the good men.

"And to answer your question, immediately Emma left I went to the chemist and bought the morning after pill. I wasn't sure my pills alone would suffice." After saying these words, Mercy broke into a bout of tears, but she found the words and told Cliff, " I'm leaving. I am all packed. And the good thing about all this, is that you won't even miss me. Emma will be moving in at 6pm today. So your supper is well taken care of. Good bye Cliff. I thought that we had something good, but I was wrong. I wish you all the love and happiness in the world with Emma."

Cliff looked down ashamed of what he had done. He asked Mercy for a second chance. He told her that he loved her, but Mercy would hear none of it. She carried her bags and suitcase and put them in her car. This one she had bought for herself. My law degree is not of nought. Cliff begged her to stay, but Mercy had had enough. Cliff had become disinterested in her a long while ago. Even though he made her nights warmer, it was still not the same.

As she entered the car, Mercy shouted. "Have fun with the apple bottom... I hear they go really low!" And with that, she drove off to begin her life anew without Cliff.

*Disclaimer: This writer acknowledges that the bit about the pills may be inaccurate but the piece could not have been written without the hyperbole.