RELATIONSHIPS

I have just finished watching the second season of Single Ladies, and it hit me, do some ladies actually live this kind of life? Meeting a new man and going on dates every other day; if the first one does not work, then it is on to the next? Should the answer to that question be yes, then I am clearly living in the wrong century.

I will not look at the past, because that is exactly what it is: passed. I want to look at my perception of a relationship then see if I have my hopes up too high or I am just plain crazy. So, let us begin...

Meeting Place

I do not care where I meet a guy. Okay, maybe I do not want to meet a guy in a strip club. And the church dudes nowadays have a bad street rep. All I want is that chemistry, the first day we meet. I happened to meet a guy in a ma3, I even told my BFF how this was going to be epic. I had foreseen the future with this guy. He was taller than I, he was so cute, and he had the most amazing eyes. According to my BFF, I was glowing the whole day. A week into talking, yes, he asked for my number..and he suddenly stopped talking to me. I was so sad. I still have not moved on from that. I read somewhere that if a chic texts a guy first, she definitely wants the D, so I shall wait. If it was meant to be, he will call me, eventually…

Earlier on, I had met another guy on social media. I know what you are thinking, but you know what, YOLO!! He was shorter than I was, but damn…he had this way of gently biting my lower lip when we kissed, and I was always begging for more. There was a time he came to see me in the evening and he had his ride. I was pleasantly surprised, because I had not seen him in a long while, and well…sitting in his car just talking, and losing track of time was a memory I shall not forget. Do not roll your eyes like that. This is me we are talking about, I will certainly not do more in a car with a guy just because I like him…okay fine, I kissed him goodbye. That was all, I promise. We were in different places with this guy so I had to end things. He wanted us to stay friends and well even though there is this saying: 

I agreed.

Dates

Let the guy take me to his favourite fancy restaurant, or a McFry’s with tall stools- I will not mind. I just want it to be he and I; me and him. We can go for a movie or a play. He can take me out on a picnic-wherever he wishes, I will not complain, because again, I am with him. There is this unwritten rule, about three dates=sex…I do not know that rule, and that is what probably cost me my last relationship. So maybe unless I change that, I guess I will enjoy being single forever.

Trust

Not the condom (just had to throw this in there...tihihi) On a very serious note, I want to have a guy who I can feel free to tell my thoughts and feelings; even those stupid ideas that come to my mind without the fear of him laughing at me and looking down at me. I want him to also feel comfortable with me. I want to be sure that when I open up to this guy, I will not be hearing it regurgitated by his boyz a week or two after.

If a man cheats on me, I will not wait for him to cheat the second time. I love myself too much to got through a relationship that is unhealthy for me. I interpret it to mean that I am not enough for the guy; and what he does not get from me he can get from another woman. I know dating is not like marriage, which, according to Hyde v Hyde is defined as the union of one man to one woman for life to the exclusion of all others; but I would like to be his main chic and not one of his many chics.

The lyrics to John Legend’s All of me comes into play:

[Bridge:]
My head's under water
But I'm breathing fine
You're crazy and I'm out of my mind

[Chorus:]
'Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I'll give my all to you
You're my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I'm winning
'Cause I give you all of me
And you give me all of you, oh

Spending money

I told a guy today that I would never accept money from my boyfriend. He was shocked and said that I am one of a kind and that most girls in the 254 are not like that. I will allow the guy to pay for the meal, drinks, or movies, but I will not accept cash from him. I will never ask a guy to spend money on me, for instance, take me shopping for shoes or clothes. That would be asking for too much. Not that I will turn down the offer or ask him to return what he bought; I just will not demand that of him.

 I may look high maintenance, but I really am not. I just want my man and I to have fun being together. If that means an afternoon at Uhuru Park, lying on the grass just talking, I am cool with that.

First Kiss

I can kiss a guy on the first date if the timing is right; but I will not be the first to initiate it. There is this lovely feeling a lady gets when she gets a kiss that she did not expect, and that is the thing about relationships that drives me crazy. When I get a guy, he has to be a good kisser. It is a deal breaker if he is not. Making out is something I can do without getting tired, only that I do not do PDAs…unless ni usiku….Let me stop at that lest I say something I shouldn’t have.

Communication

The reason we have cell phones, is so that we can communicate. I do not want a guy who will keep calling me 24/7 to ask what I am doing and who I am with. Reminds me of this joke: 

I would not mind a good morning text. That would really make my day. If we are not having lunch together and the guy does not call, I will not curl up in a corner and burst into tears. If we are not chatting on Whatsapp for the night, then I would not mind a call to say good night. It is so sweet-the last voice I get to hear before I fall asleep.

I am that girl who asks herself, “so if he is not texting or calling, he is not doing work or whatever and he is not with me, then who is he with?” The only difference is that I will never ask him. I will let the man be. We are not married, after all, so that is why I would like a bit of communication so that I do not worry about me having to want to bring my A game all the time.

I want a guy who will let me call him, and when I call, and he does not pick or worse, he disconnects my call, he will call back later and get to find out why I was calling-even though I just wanted to say hi. Yes, I am mushy like that…blame it on all the movies I have watched.

Gifts

I love gifts on my birthday. Even on Christmas. The guy may surprise me with flowers or jewelry- whatever he sees I would like. These are nice, but they are not a requirement. 

I will never throw a tantrum just because my man does not bring me chocolate whenever we have a date. My cousin says that it is not such a good idea to get a man a gift, but if I really like you, I will go all the way for you. Just so you are happy. When my man is sick, I would want him to tell me, so that I come see him in hospital or even take him something that will make him feel better. He does not have to be all macho for me. I want to take care of him; just like he does every other time we are together.

Romance

Whenever I mention this word; especially to a guy, whatever comes to his mind is fore play. All dirty-mindedness aside, I want a guy who will take into consideration that I am a girl, and that even though I am a Man U fan, I lost track of who the current players are five years ago. I want him to remember that the last time I watched a wrestling match Triple H was the ish, and John Cena had not even thought of wrestling. Even though he will fail at his attempt at romance, I will still give him an A+ because he had me in mind when he thought of that gesture.

Those three little words

There is only 1 thing

2 say

3 words

For you-uuu

I love you

It takes a while for me to say those words, but when I do, I really mean them. It means that I think about my man all the time; when I am not with him I just think of being with him. There is even a song on the radio that plays and I think about him. When I love my man it means, I can take his sarcasm which is way heartless than mine is, and still see no fault. It means that he will do me wrong and I will forgive him anyway, just because I love him.

This is not a complete list, but it has most stuff I think of when it comes to relationships. What do you think?