The Wingman

It was a warm sunny Sunday. The year I can't quite remember which it was. You know the days children were dressed in puffy dresses they loved to hate with a matching hat and white shoes known as pumps. Well, that was many years ago. So this particular day I wore trousers to church. Yes! I am a rebel! Always am, always will be. I will not go so much into the weather that day. All I remember is that it was sunny. And I already said that. Drat! I must have been a teen then. What was important that day was that I was going to visit my two cousins at the prestigious Boma. Nope, not the hotel. It was not a thing by then. And, no, I don't believe anyone would be mega excited to go see a shed. Okay, maybe the number would not be in their thousands. Boma was the name of the Kenya High School then, still is. I do not know the genesis of that name. I shall ask then let y'all know. I am not sure whether the definite article is used before the title of that school, when you use that term. Alumnae please correct me, Google seems to be a bit inaccessible at the moment.

I was playing with my cousins in that expansive field Boma has, and I happened to be running after them trying to catch up with them. No problem. However, I noticed these two dudes walking in the field behind me, so I slowed down. (Now, I had a feeling these guys were looking at my young behind as I ran. I was in cotton trousers that really shaped my body that had a leather waist. Trust me, they looked good. The trousers you pervert! Lol! But then again, it was the fashion in those days, so maybe I would not touch that trouser with a ten foot pole right now, but I was really rocking it...I think!) So, one of these young men, a caramel complexioned, handsome young man came to me and there was this awkward conversation that ensued.

Caramel skinned young man: Sasa, beshte yangu anataka kukuongelesha.

Me: I was kinda staring at this guy. He was really good looking. So I was just silent.

CSYM: (Looks at me then repeats the question then points back to his friend, who is a couple of metres away.)

Me: Eeeh....aaah...

CSYM: Nimwambie uko busy?  I swear you cannot make this stuff up! The guy actually said this. If I got the details of the story wrong, rest assured these words I remember veeeery clearly.

Me: (The guy I am being hooked up with is not exactly good looking in my opinion. I think he even had brown teeth. And he was dark. At the time, I thought caramel skinned dudes were hotter. In case you are wondering, that position has since changed.) Yeah, mwambie hivyo.

CSYM: Sawa. (He walks away and probably lets his friend down easy on my behalf.)

My cousins came to rescue me a minute too late. So they asked what that was all about. I lied and said it was nothing. I remember I went to tell my family friends this story, and they were so amused, all they did was just burst into laughter. I was not amused. I was objectified, and approached by the most unsuitable boy. So not acceptable!

Little did I know. that this was only just the beginning of these experiences.