The Chronicles of A Real Lovechild

" My dad is the best!" said Gloria. " Mine too." added Joy. This was a reality Veronica could neither confirm nor deny because she had never known about a father's love; unless we were talking about Our Heavenly Father,but I digress. So just so that she could not be left out in that conversation of who the best parent is, she said that her mum is the best.
And why wouldn't she be? Her mother had single handedly raised Veronica until she was ten years of age, perfectly healthy, and by the look of things, she was not doing a bad job. Going to a private school, buying books upon request, school uniform per term or per year- these were things that even a mother and father in an ordinary family struggled with, yet here she was. Her mother had been both mother and father to her, and had provided her with all that she needed while growing up. This was in order that Veronica would feel that she fitted in with the other children. Truth be told, she stuck out like a sore thumb.
Veronica continued with her studies; from primary through to secondary and to university, and that is when it hit her: she did not have a friend she could call on day or night just to talk. Neither did she have that  buddy who would sit and listen to her ranting and raving about that boy who had broken her heart. Social media made it even more depressing when she saw photographs of friends together having fun.
It was just sad.
This revelation came to her one Sunday afternoon while having lunch at her Auntie's house when the conversation drifted to the time her husband was accosted by thugs on his way home, and within a number of minutes, the hospital was filled with many friends of her two sons. Veronica's mother pointed out that she did not have friends like that, and continued to blame it on the high school she went to calling it the difference in social classes. That point did not make sense, because as she best knew it, she had school mates in years ahead and behind her that had made ride or die friends. Yet here she was, the same way she had been all her life-alone.
Maybe she should have tried to be more active in sports. Then she would have gone out for funkies and made friends for life. Better yet, she should have joined the Drama Club. But Lord knows watching Princess Diaries countless times does not qualify anyone's prowess in the acting arena. So, poof! went that dream.
Choir never really appealed to her, so it never was an option.
All the coolest clubs got an X from her, and this was the reason why she was paying for her transgressions.
Veronica had a year to graduation, and it was always bothering her whether she would get friends to come to her party or they would rather be at another friend's party than hers. It had crossed her mind severally to tell her mother that she did not want a party for graduation, just so that she could save face before her family. Because even though they did not say it, she could see from their faces that they considered her the illegitimate lovechild she had always been who would amount to nothing. And this is what probably put her down most of the time. Instead of being motivated by adversity so as to change her situation, it pulled her back even more into the shadows, where she could remain unseen and unheard. If it were not for the motivational books she was reading, depression would have knocked on her door, and she would have welcomed him with a bottle of red wine and chocolate.
It was just lucky that the Sunday after a long truancy from church, the preacher of the day mentioned that most people put their happiness in man who most often than not disappoints; when they really should look to God who will never let them down, and will nourish their souls and give them eternal happiness.
That is when Veronica realised that all thus while she had it all wrong. This emptiness in her heart that she felt should be filled by the man who donated
sperm- well, he had not contributed anything else substantial from the time of her birth. So it would not be such a mean thing to say, really.
Ken Walibora in his book had put the thoughts of the main character at the back, saying that the name baba was a term whose meaning he had understood from the kamusi but had no real life experience of. This was Veronica's story, and this is why after watching
What A Girl Wants, she was left with the idea that somehow, somewhat, in a little twisted way, her father would come back for her and everything would be hanky dory. Twenty years down the line this had not happened. And Veronica made a pact with herself to never live on this false hope again.
******
A classmate of Veronica's had pointed out to her that she spoke to herself a lot. She had not really noticed, but that was true. As a child, whenever she could not go out to play with the neighbours, she stayed indoors and escaped reality through watching videos, and playing with Barbie Dolls. This must have been psychological as a result of not having any siblings to talk to let alone fight with. She again remembered how people always asked how it was growing up as an only child; with them adding how spoilt she must have been, given the fact that everything she wanted was given to her. That was not the case, Veronica could recount every single moment she had to contend with staying without something because it was unaffordable. Sometimes, she asked for something, just to test what the answer would be. It was always what she had anticipated. So, as always her response was, "I understand."
Not to shed her mother in a bad light, because she was her everything, and she cherished, every moment they spent together, she still felt there was a void that was there that needed to be filled.
Ignoring it all these years had not helped the situation, because, well, here she was feeling so bad inside. But the fact that she had began dealing with the matter albeit in a small way, was the beginning to the path of happiness.